Protecting marriage

The Onion, whose fake news coverage has lately been quite disappointing, has a great article on protecting marriage from sharks. My favorite paragraph:

According to recent polls, only 22 percent of voters who live in shark-infested areas on either of the country's coasts say they are "very worried" about the damage sharks could wreak on married couples, while that number jumps to 86 percent in more conservative, landlocked, regions of the South and Midwest

A while ago, the Fafblog had a similar (and better) article on tainting the octupus.